I know that reaching out and starting therapy is difficult. Opening up to a stranger can be daunting. That’s why I want you to get a better understanding of who I am, so that you can decide whether we might be a good fit.

Who am I?

To get the boring stuff out of the way, here’s a quick overview of who I am:

• I’m a qualified counsellor and therapist based in Elsternwick, Melbourne

• I provide counselling to adults (18 years and over) in Australia and worldwide (excl. USA and Canada)

• I have a Master of Counselling

• I’m a Level 2 member of the Australian Counselling Association (ACA)

• I’m a Professional Member of the Association for Size Diversity and Health (ASDAH)

• I was born in the USA, grew up in Belgium, and immigrated to Australia almost 10 years ago. I speak English and Dutch (both native), as well as basic French. I understand basic German and a little bit of Swedish. All my sessions can be in English or Dutch.

What am I passionate about in therapy?

As someone who experienced lifelong body image issues and started dieting as a teenager, I am incredibly passionate about helping others to make peace with their bodies.

I’m particularly passionate about supporting:

• people who live in bigger bodies

• people who are navigating the body changes that come with pregnancy and postpartum

• people who are experiencing body image difficulties, body dysmorphia, and disordered eating

Acceptance, empathy, and self-compassion are very important to me in my work. When I work with my clients, I explore how society’s norms have impacted their body image and whether there have been any events or relationships in their personal lives that have shaped how they view their bodies. I often discuss with clients the mechanisms of dieting for weight loss and why diets aren’t sustainable in the long run, as well as exploring more sustainable options like intuitive eating.

My story

If I’m honest, I don’t remember a time before my late twenties when I was happy with my body. I don’t remember exactly when I started counting calories, trying diets and intermittent fasting, but I have vivid memories of being a teenager and obsessively adding every food that went into my mouth into the MyFitnessPal app. I remember going on message boards and posting the number of WeightWatchers points I’d eaten that day. I have clear memories of being at my first office job out of university and texting my friend at noon that I was so hungry because I hadn’t had breakfast — and I was proud of it.

Growing up as a millennial kid in the early 2000s meant that as a child and teenager, I was overwhelmed with images of extremely thin celebrities in magazines and on tv. As many girls my age did back then, I absorbed this thin ideal as a part of my identity. I needed to look like the girls I saw on tv or else.

Then, in my mid twenties, I suddenly found myself at a crossroads. After a difficult time in my life, I’d used excessive exercise and dieting to lose the weight I’d always wanted to lose. I was as thin as I’d always wanted to be, and I was so proud when I realised that my old clothes no longer fit me. And I realised I wasn’t happy when I’d reached this miracle, ideal weight.

I was so hungry. I couldn’t focus on my work because I constantly found myself thinking about when I could have my next snack (which was usually hours away and not filling because I didn’t want to eat too many calories). Emotionally, I had just gone through a very rough patch. And planning my next workout and obsessing about the next meal took up so much time and mental energy.

I remember looking into mirror and thinking: “this isn’t sustainable.”

So I found myself at a crossroads and decided to take the path I’d never explored: making peace with my body instead of trying to fight it.

I found a body image therapist who taught me about intuitive eating and my inner child. I learned how to eat when I’m hungry and stop when I’m full. I also learned that it’s okay to have foods when I wasn’t hungry, just because I felt like it or because it looked delicious or because I was spending quality time with a friend. I became aware of the vicious cycle of dieting and how diets are not sustainable long-term and often set you up for failure. I gained back the weight I’d lost and had to come to terms with the fact that maybe my body just wasn’t meant to be thin. I had to learn that that was okay. I went shopping and bought clothes in bigger sizes. Yes, I was bigger again, but I was so much happier. And without obsessing about calories and exercise plans, I had so much more time and energy to spend on things that I enjoyed.

Of course, living in a bigger body came with its own challenges. Like many people living in fat bodies, I had to reckon with my own internalised fatphobia. Medical professionals and their weight bias. Not being able to find the clothes I’d like for important events. Worrying that other people will see me as less competent or professional because of the weight.

Then, a few years ago, I became pregnant and faced a whole new set of challenges. After experiencing an early pregnancy loss, my second pregnancy caused a lot of anxiety. Having to step on the scale at the hospital every few weeks. Having to talk about BMI. Seeing my body change before my eyes. Weight gain and stretch marks. The fear of being told to go on a diet when I’ve worked to hard to not restrict the foods I’m eating.

And then, after pregnancy and an emergency C-section, came postpartum. A raw and difficult period where I had to come to terms that my body had changed significantly, probably for life. Like many women, I had to navigate the changes to my body in a time where sleep was very hard to come by and where there was virtually no time to myself.

The road to body acceptance can be long and full of hurdles, and I will never say that I have arrived at the final destination. I believe that your relationship with your body is an ever-growing, ever-evolving thing that requires constant attention. But if you feel stuck the way that I felt stuck more than 10 years ago, I will say this: there is so much room for growth, and it is possible to arrive at a place where you feel more at peace with your body. And I would be honoured to join you along the way.

What do I bring to my practice as a counsellor?

• A healthy dose of laughter and humour

• An emphasis for self-compassion and empathy

• Taking the time to celebrate the small victories just as much as the big wins

• Listening to the thoughts that feel too big, messy, dark, or scary to share 

• A multicultural background and a deep respect for different cultures, languages, and nationalities

• An anti-diet, Health at Every Size® approach to weight and body image

• Lived experience as a fat person

• Lived experience of immigration, displacement, and isolation

• Lived experience of pregnancy, pregnancy loss, postpartum, and being a new parent

If it sounds like we’d be a good match, I’d love to hear from you.