Whether you prefer the term fat, big, or curvy: there are particular challenges that come with living in a bigger body. Many people feel alone in their experience and struggle to find mental health support from someone who shares their experience.

After all, it can be difficult to feel fully understood by a therapist who has only navigated the world in a thin body and who has never put off a doctor’s appointment out of fear for being told their weight is the problem, or worried about fitting into a seat at the hairdresser, a restaurant, or an airplane.

If you’re looking for support from someone who gets it, I’m here for you. While I will never claim that I know exactly how you feel, I have been there: the worries about fitting into this society that’s built for thin bodies and the concerns about how people will perceive you.

How fatphobia can affect your mental health

If you’ve ever lived in a bigger body, you’ve probably heard of the word fatphobia. It refers to the unfair treatment and dislike of people because they’re fat. Fatphobia is very common in our society, and it can have a detrimental effect on the quality of life and mental health of people who live in a bigger body.

Do any of the following experiences sound familiar?

• Medical discrimination

  • Doctors and health providers fixating on your weight, even when you visit them for non-weight concerns

  • Being told that losing weight will solve all your mental and physical concerns

  • Not being taken seriously because of your weight

  • Being told that you cannot have a healthy pregnancy if you’re over a certain weight or BMI

• Not finding any clothes in your size because shops only stock smaller sizes

• Not being taken seriously in the workplace

• Being praised for losing weight and being told you look “so much better” after losing weight

• Being made to feel like you have to explain why you’re fat (because of an illness, medication, pregnancy…)

• Being photographed without your consent in public

• Feeling uncomfortable exercising around other people out of fear of being judged

• Not fitting into seats or chairs in public spaces because they’re designed for smaller bodies

• Hearing people say “I feel fat!” when they really mean that they feel ugly

• Being told by potential romantic partners that they don’t date fat people

• Being asked if you’ve tried a particular diet, exercise program, or weight loss medication

• Experiencing low self-esteem and self-doubt when someone close to you loses a significant amount of weight

How I can support you

I use my lived experience as a fat woman to support people who live in a bigger body. In our work together, we might focus on:

• Developing emotional regulation and coping skills that allow you to manage any anxiety or difficult emotions you’re experiencing

• Practicing self-compassion and empathy

• Learning how to set boundaries when it comes to conversations about food, diet, weight, and health

• Challenging any negative beliefs about yourself and your body, diet culture, and weight stigma

• Preparing to advocate for yourself in medical settings in a way that prioritises your physical health and safeguards your mental health

• Exploring any events or relationships that may have caused you to internalise fatphobia and processing them together

• Discussing how you can expose yourself to diverse bodies, for example on social media, television, and in real life