If you hate being in a fitting room and trying on clothes, you’re not the only one.
You know how it goes. There’s a big event coming up, and you need to find the perfect outfit for that wedding or Christmas party. Or maybe the clothes you own don’t fit you anymore, and you need to find a pair of pants that fits your body better.
So you finally find the courage to go out to a clothing store. You gather a few clothes that seem suitable. You enter the fitting room… and you immediately feel horrible.
More often than not, people leave the fitting room feeling worse than they did when they entered it. Why is that?
Stress about an upcoming event
If you’re going shopping for a particular event — for example a wedding or a job interview — you might already be feeling stressed about attending that event. If it’s a summer wedding, you might be worried about how your arms will look in the wedding pictures when you wear short sleeves. Or if you’re shopping for a job interview, you might be anxious about coming across professional and competent.
Feeling stressed or anxious about these things can put you into a mindset that makes you more susceptible to negative thoughts about your body. This is very common and normal.
Mirrors
When your relationship with your body is a difficult one, it can be very confronting having to look at your entire body in a mirror. It’s even worse when there are two mirrors and you get a glimpse of parts of your body that you normally wouldn’t see. Accepting or loving your body can be a tall order when you’re being forced to watch yourself getting dressed and undressed.
Lighting
Oh, that lighting. It’s never ideal. Either it’s too bright or too cold-toned, and it shines so bright on all the parts of your body you’re already insecure about. Maybe the way that the light falls emphasises the dimples in your legs that you don’t like. Or it highlights the pores on your nose that you wouldn’t see in normal sunlight.
The light in these rooms have a way of exposing every little detail of your body, and most people wouldn’t feel great having to look at those parts of their body from up close.
Changes to your body
Trying on clothes has a way of reminding you how your body has changed. We’ve been taught that going up a size is bad, and going down a size is good. We’re often reminded of this when we try on clothes and have to buy a larger size. It can be difficult not to feel sad or angry when you’re reminded that your body has changed. It’s not your fault. It’s a result of our society’s focus on being thin and losing weight.
The limitations of clothes sizing
Have you ever noticed how you might fit into a size 20 at Kmart, but need a size 24 at H&M? And have you noticed how a size XL at Zara is very different from a size XL at Big W?
That’s because clothes sizing, especially women’s clothes, is not standardised and different for every brand and store. When we’re taught to attach our self-worth to the number on the scale or the size on the label of our jeans, it can be easy to get hung up on numbers. But remember that size is just a number — and more often than not, it’s a very random number.
Lack of plus size clothing options
If you live in a bigger body, going shopping for clothes can be very challenging. Especially now that many major clothing retailers are eliminating their curve and plus-size lines or are making them online-only.
When most (or all) clothing stores don’t carry your size, it’s normal to feel angry, sad, or frustrated. It can make you feel like something is wrong with you or make you believe that you don’t deserve to wear nice clothes. That’s a very valid and common response.
So how can you make shopping for clothes easier?
If it’s practically and financially possible, consider online shopping. Trying on clothes in the comfort of your own home, in normal lighting, and without anyone else around might make you more comfortable.
Be aware of your state of mind before you head out to the shops. If you’re already feeling sad or anxious, then maybe it’s not the right time to go clothes shopping. But if you have to go shopping at that time, then try to take a few deep breaths, a short meditation, or listening to some calming music when you walk into the store.
Bring a friend or family member who can comfort you when things get difficult. It’s okay that shopping for clothes brings up a lot of emotions. It does for most people. Having someone there who can give you a hug or provide comfort when things get tough can help.
Try to find stores that carry your size in-store. Visiting a store and finding out then and there that they don’t carry your size can be a very difficult experience. It can be helpful to find out ahead of time which stores carry your size, so that you can avoid this experience.
Figure out a game plan. It’s easy to get overwhelmed once you’re out shopping. It can help to be prepared with a game plan before you head out to the shops. Consider which type of clothes you need, which colours you’re looking for, and which textures you like.
For example, “I’m going to find a dress for a summer wedding” becomes “I’m going to find a dress in a breathable fabric, that comes down to my knees (or lower), and that has sleeves that cover the top part of my upper arms.”
Or “I need new work clothes” becomes “I need 2 pairs of black pants, 4 white t-shirts with a high neck, and 1 dark-coloured blazer.”
Need more personal support?
Hi, I’m Yasmine! I’m a body image therapist and counsellor who works with people who want to make peace with their bodies. I offer online sessions worldwide (excl. Canada and USA).
If you would like to work together, you can book your first session or a free 15-minute discovery call via www.outofthewoodscounselling.net or by emailing me at yasmine@outofthewoodscounselling.net
