You might feel like a failure because you’ve tried different diets but you couldn’t stick with any of them for more than a few days or weeks. When you stopped the diet, you gained back any weight you lost. But what if we told you that it’s not your fault, but the diet’s fault?

Did you know that research has proven time and again that dieting does not lead to long-term weight loss? Multiple studies have found that the majority of people who lose a significant amount of weight while dieting gain the weight back, and sometimes gain even more weight than when they started.

What is more, repeated dieting and weight cycling (losing weight and gaining it back) can lead to feeling more depressed or anxious, developing a strained relationship with food, negative body image, and developing eating disorders.

Diets Are Set Up For Failure

The nature of diets sets people up for failure. This is called “the vicious cycle of dieting” and is very common in people who engage in dieting for weight loss.

The vicious cycle of dieting goes as follows:

• Feeling bad about your body. You don’t like the skin you’re in and wish you were a little thinner or fitter. You look in the mirror or see yourself in photos and think “I’m ugly” and “I need to change.” You decide to make a change.

• Starting a diet. You choose a diet. You’re excited because you think this will be the one. You already feel better just thinking about the weight you’ll lose and how good you’ll feel. Restricting your calories and food intake, making lists of what you’ve eaten, and following the diet’s rules is giving you a sense of control over your life and body. You feel excited!

• Deprivation. You haven’t eaten enough. Your stomach is rumbling through class or meetings and all you can think about is food. You only had a few crackers or a cup of coffee for breakfast. You can’t follow your coworker’s presentation because all you think about is the small lunch you’re allowed to have in an hour. Your body is being deprived of food. Biologically, this preoccupation with food is a very normal reaction and your body’s way of trying to convince you to nourish yourself.

• Breaking point. Something happens and you snap. Maybe you got too hungry and grabbed whichever food was easiest to access. Maybe the children were cranky or your coworker said something that made you angry. You start eating the “forbidden” foods. Maybe you eat a kind of food you’re not meant to eat according to the diet, or maybe you ate too much. You feel out of control again. You’re uncomfortable. Maybe you’re thinking “well, I already messed up the diet so I might as well keep going” and eat more forbidden foods.

• Shame and guilt. You’re angry with yourself. You’re disappointed and beat yourself up over yet another diet you couldn’t stick to. You feel like a failure and blame yourself. If other people can do this, why can’t I? You feel like things will never change and negative feelings are overwhelming you. So you go back to feeling bad about your body, and the cycle starts again.

If this sounds familiar, then know that this is a very common pattern. Being stuck in the vicious cycle of dieting isn’t your fault. Together, we can look at what is keeping you in this cycle and how you can break the cycle.

How I Can Support You

In our work together, we might focus on:

• Exploring the dieting cycle and how it’s impacted your life and mental health

• Learning more about the evidence that supports the fact that diets set you up for failure and how that applies to you

• Identifying key triggers in your life that contribute to the dieting cycle

• Learning new coping skills and emotional regulation techniques that you can use when you feel yourself getting caught up in the dieting cycle

• Exploring a relationship with food, exercise, and your body that’s focused on supporting your mental health, joy, and nourishment rather than punishment, deprivation, and dislike of yourself