Things I wish more women knew about their postpartum bodies

Postpartum — the initial few weeks after giving birth — is an incredibly raw and intense period for most mothers. You’re adjusting to having a new baby in the house, figuring out how to feed and care for them, and trying to get by on very little sleep. The sleep deprivation and significant change in hormones that is happening in your body after birth only make things more difficult.

And while all of that is happening, you’re also adjusting to a new version of your body. You might have a tear, wound, or C-section incision to care for. Your body might have stretch marks that weren’t there before. Your belly probably looks different after growing a little human for 9 months, and then promptly evacuating that human from your body.

Many women feel a sense of shock, sadness, or alienation when they look at themselves in the mirror post birth. They might not recognise themselves, or their body might not feel like their own. These feelings are very common and very normal.

Here are a few things I wish I could tell everyone during their postpartum time:

You probably won’t go back to the body that you had before pregnancy

Women are made to believe that after pregnancy and birth, their bodies will go back to how they were before within a few months’ time. But your body has gone through one of the most significant changes it will ever go through, and it may never be the same as it was before.

The skin on your belly is a little softer, and the stretchmarks may fade but may never fully go away. Your belly might sit a bit lower. Your weight might be a little heavier than it was before. And that is okay. For many, it’s difficult to accept that these changes have happened, and that’s also okay.

You might gain weight during the postpartum period, and it’s okay if that’s scary

In the weeks and months after birth, nourishing foods and regular exercise can be hard to come by. You may start the day with the intention of going for a nice walk, but you end up nap trapped on the couch. Or maybe you’d planned on cooking a delicious stew full of veggies that are going to nourish your body, but your baby decides it’s a cluster-feeding day.

During the postpartum period, women often aren’t able to move their bodies frequently and have to settle for foods that are quick and easy, but not always very nourishing. As a result, it’s possible that you gain weight after birth. It’s okay if that’s scary. In a society where women are constantly told that they should “bounce back” after birth and strive to be as thin as possible, it’s only normal that this thought scares you.

You might not recognise the person you see in the mirror

We all remember a moment where we looked in the mirror after a particularly rough night — beaten down by sleep deprivation, with unwashed hair and dark circles under our eyes — and thought: wow, this is how I look now?

Postpartum is a wildly difficult and challenging time, and you’re just trying to survive. Washing your hair is probably not the priority, and neither is applying make-up or nail polish. And in the days and weeks after birth, your belly probably looks very different: still swollen, with loose skin or the typical C-section “shelf” many women have. The changes that happen to your body can be so fast and foreign that you don’t recognise yourself in the mirror. This is a universal experience for many women post birth, and it’s okay that you’re struggling to accept this temporary version of you.

But remember that it’s just that: temporary. You will sleep again. You will have time to shower properly again. You will be able to sit down with a hot cup of tea and watch tv again. You will eventually feel like yourself again.

Postpartum can be very difficult, lonely, and dark

The days, weeks, and months after birth can be incredibly difficult. For many women, the days are very long and lonely. The whiplash they experienced in going from pregnancy to being a new parent, recovering from birth, and looking after a tiny human can be overwhelming and too much to bear.

If you find this time difficult, then know that you are not alone. But also know that help is available, and reaching out can save lives.

If you’re in Australia, you can reach out to PANDA for prenatal and postpartum mental health support via 1300 726 306.

If you are in crisis, please contact Lifeline via 13 11 14 or call 000 now.

I’m a body image therapist and counsellor who specialises in supporting people who are navigating body image and body changes. If you’re struggling with the changes to your body during pregnancy and after birth and would like personalised support with this, you can book a free 15-minute discovery call with me via www.outofthewoodscounselling.net or by emailing me at yasmine@outofthewoodscounselling.net .